Mince pies at midnight

The butter's too cold, the mixer's bust
The pastry will never have a perfect crust
And now it won't roll, it's way too short
This recipe's far harder than I thought.
There's bits sticking everywhere, what a disaster
10 o'clock already! I've got to go faster.
Oh, just squeeze them in, no one will know
Squodge them and bodge them so the cracks won't show.
Didn't make enough, did I roll them too thick?
None for Dad, then, but sugar makes him sick.
Now for the mincemeat, don't overfill
There's nothing worse to wash if it spills.
And into the freezer, just squash the peas down,
It still won't fit? Throw them out on the ground.
Now slam the lid closed, sit on it tight.
They'll be fine until Christmas night.