Caroline Quirk was unhappy
Her husband was not who she thought
His forehead had gone a bit slappy
And he rubbed it while watching the sport.
His other hand was on his belly
He patted the rotund lump
While sitting and watching the telly
In his legs akimbo slump.
When they married he'd been a lot thinner
All curls and dashing good looks
She thought she'd been onto a winner
When she signed the registry books.
Unfortunately as years went by
He seemed to age at double time
Lost the sparkle in his eye
Drowned his verve in beer and wine.
So Caroline had woken one day
And decided enough was enough
Called a friend and went to stay
Taking with her most of her stuff.
She found that she couldn't relax
And started to date other guys
But she was soon put off by hairy backs
And wobbly orange peel thighs.
She thought that it might be a class thing
And looked for someone a bit posher
But found that her love everlasting
Was a white Hotpoint dishwasher.
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